I'll Ping you in the Turtleneck.

Once upon a time, I was a fan of Apple. I've only owned iPods, and I liked iTunes well enough. At least, it seemed to work better than any of my alternatives.

Recently, Google has announced that they plan on opening their own music store. Depending on its efficacy, I fully intend on switching to it. I am a huge fan of Google, and I hope they'll stay as cool as they are right now.

I've owned an iPod of some kind for as long as I've been listening to music that didn't belong to my parents. And I've decided that my current one, an iPod Touch, is the last one. I am done with iPods, and I am done with Apple. I've gone from being annoyed to being flat-out enraged, and there's no reason I should stay with a company I don't like.

The beginning of this was the release of the iPad. As I've mentioned before, I hate the iPad. It has a dumb name, it looks dumb, and most annoyingly, Steve Jobs acted like it was the first tablet ever invented. Never mind the fact that my laptop doubles as a touchscreen tablet. I was severely annoyed by the people who waxed poetic about Jobs and his maxiPad. It got old, and, eventually, the world divided into three groups- those who loved the TamPod, those who saw it as a running joke, and those who had never heard of Jobs and thought Apples grew on trees.

Now, however, the turtlenecked vampire has given us Ping. It is a social Network, or at least, it's supposed to be one. I'm not quite sure you can just "create" a social network- Facebook didn't just come into existence with millions of members, it had to work at it and grow. Same thing with Myspace. Even if Jobs is "magic," I sort of doubt his ability to just bring a social network into being.

And this Ping shit is annoying as hell. Even though you don't have to create an account, there are countless icons crowding iTunes that want you to use Ping to tell people what you're listening to, what you're thinking about listening to, what you like, what you want to like, what you don't like, what you recommend to others, et cetera. It's making me crazy.

I want iTunes to store my music, keep it organized, and let me load it onto my iPod. I don't want anything else. I'm not interested in knowing what other people think of some song or album. I don't care. I don't want to know what everyone else is likes. That is not how I choose my music.

So, yes, I am quite annoyed with iTunes and Apple. Steve Jobs will be losing a customer soon enough, I can tell you that. And something tells me I'm not the only one who'll be leaving.

Rotting Our Brains on the Boob Tube

I watch a lot of television, I'll admit it. I watch a lot of news, a lot of Top Gear, and a lot of really dumb crap. In my defense, I'm doing like four or five other things at the same time- homework, writing, blogging, cleaning, et cetera. My apartment is rather large, and it just feels awkward when its dead silent in here.

I watch a fair amount of TLC. It's fascinating, in the same way automobile accidents are fascinating. One of the best shows on there is "Say Yes to the Dress." I don't care what my mom and sister say, I'm not getting married. In the event I do, however, I am eloping. Screw the goofy dress and gaudy traditions. I will never wear a white goddamn dress, and I will never buy one at a bridal store. So it's amusing and interesting to watch people place so much effort into something I find archaic. It cracks me up when they say things like, "I'm on a budget so I want to keep the price below $2000." Two thousand dollars would cover at least four months' rent for me, dude. Maybe it's because I'm in college, but two thousand on a dress you wear for one day is like paying a hundred dollars for a sandwich.

And I realize there are scores of women who lust for my blood when I call weddings antiquated. I don't mean antiquated for other people; I just mean it for myself. Much as I respect people who have a different religion than me, I respect women who, unlike me, have been planning their wedding since pre-pubescence. I'm not a lunatic feminist; women can do whatever the hell they want. You can be a career woman or aspire to bear four thousand children. Whatever, it's up to you.

But I digress. The new show on TLC that is my latest fascination is "Sister Wives." I stayed up till 11 on a Sunday night just to watch the series premiere. And boy, is it interesting.

Basically, it surrounds this man down in Lehi, Utah who was three wives and a bunch of children. His first wife grew up in a polygamous family, so understandably that is the norm for her. I can't remember, but I'm pretty sure the second wife wasn't in a polygamous family but was open to the concept. The third wife was. The eventual fourth wife wasn't, and has been married before. So there you go.

I don't have a problem with polygamy. I'm an anthropologist, so there's no "correct" way to have a relationship to me. In fact, the only reason polygamy is illegal in the US is because it's a historically and politically-loaded concept. So I have a problem with a forced marriage between a twelve year old and a forty year old? Of course I do, don't be stupid. It happens in the polygamous community, and in the monogamous community, and it's equally as wrong on both sides. I personally would never be in a polygamous relationship, but, as before stated, they'll be lucky to get me to marry anyone. They're not part of the norm, and they suffer for it.

So, I give Sister Wives a thumbs-up, if, for no other reason, it makes for a fascinating ethnographic record.

Another one of my favorite shows is "Glee." Ironically, I really do not like musicals. I find them to be rather awkward, with very few exceptions. However, Glee has a great range of characters and conflicts. Jane Lynch deserves an Oscar for her performance as the She-Male cheerleader coach. It's just an overall great show. However, the beginning of the series has been somewhat lackluster, at least in my opinion. The season premiere introduced two new characters who could potentially rival some of the regular cast. And then they went away. Sue and Mr. Schu teamed up against the new football coach, only to sever ties in the same episode. While there was repeated potential for intrigue, the premiere fell flat for me. I had more hope in yesterday night's episode, as they were doing Britney Spears' tributes. Yet again, the episode ended in an awkward spot with little feeling of accomplishment. I waited the entire hour, in vain, for Kurt to sing one of Spears' hit singles. Even though he was obviously the most devoted Spears fan, he never got to do anything. Supposedly, Artie wants Tina back, but we wouldn't be able to tell save for quick allusions to it. Meanwhile, Rachel has a fit about Finn not being on the football team, and then being back on the team. Mr. Schu's ex-wife, who I secretly hoped we were done with because she annoyed the shit out of me, is back and crazy as ever. Emma won't date Schu, and is instead dating John Stamos, who is supposed to be a dentist with poor taste in gaudy cars. Oh, and they concentrate on those two slutty cheerleaders who have the combined IQ of a toaster.

I suppose the reason it all is falling flat for me is that they're trying too hard to cover too many people. Last season, it seemed like they would use the hour to mostly concentrate on the dynamics of just a few people. Now it feels like they're trying to make too many people into main characters, and it's not working.

Finally, there's "House." I love House, and this season's looking like it will continue the greatness. The whole House-Cuddy thing is fantastic. I have no complaints, except that Thirteen better come back soon. Olivia Wilde is a great actress.

There are, of course, other shows, but I have no complaints about any of them. Hooray for Bones and Fringe. Why is it that Fox has all the greatest shows?

Do I Believe in Writer's Block?

A writer friend of mine (Neysa Jensen) posed the question on her blog of whether or not writer's block exists. The query is a valid one- there are plenty of people who claim they suffer from writer's block, and plenty of people who don't. I was about to chime in with my own opinions when I realized I wasn't sure what my opinion is.

When it comes to writing, I have a semi-emotional view of it. I write every day, whether it's a blog posting, or a few pages on my latest novel, or even a three-page short story. Writing is my favorite thing to do in my spare time because it's a kind of release. Now, I frequently display the emotional aptitude of a turnip, but when I'm writing, my thoughts are more articulate, and my feelings have a certain amount of clarity.

But do I believe in writer's block?

I suppose it depends what your definition of writer's block is. If it's a period when a person is unable to write anything, then no. I can write about anything. I can write absolute nonsense, if that's what I have to do. However, if your definition of writer's block is reaching an impasse on a particular story or essay, then yes, I believe in writer's block. There are times when I am working on something and I just cannot eke out any more words.

When I run into a problem like this, I take one of two approaches. Either the story wasn't meant to be in the first place, or there's something that needs to change earlier in the story.

If it's suffering from the former, then away the word document goes to a file aptly named "Writing Shit in Progress." It is, without a doubt, the purgatory of my hard drive. Every now and then, I go in there, find something that doesn't completely suck, and try to revive it. This was the case with my latest story (can I call in a novel? Is that too formal?). I started it, or at least a version with similar characters, several years ago. I got about forty pages into it and realized it wasn't going anywhere. So straight to "Writing Shit in Progress" it went. After I got twenty pages into the handwritten story about two months ago, I realized it was turning into that story I'd already started.

The latter is easier for me to fix. Recently, while working on The Monster (not its title, it has nothing to do with monsters), I came to a point where the progression of the plot had slowed and gotten awkward. At that point, I was about 170 pages into it, and I was not about to abandon it. I went back about thirty pages and found a place that could be altered to revive the plot as a whole. The story roared on, and now it's closing in on 300 pages.

So does writer's block exist? I guess my answer is "only if you let it exist." If you're emotionally invested enough in it to the point where you aren't willing to send it to virtual limbo, then there isn't a block. There's just something that needs to be changed.

And I guess the second part to asking whether writer's block exists or not is considering your writing style. I suppose it's impossible to assess whether or not writer's block exists simply because everyone has a different writing style. There's no "correct" writing process. I don't suffer from any writer's "block," per say, but that doesn't mean no one suffers from blockage.

I Have a Blog? Oh, Yeah...

So, it's been awhile since I made a post. I could blame it on how busy I've been with school, but that would be a lie. I'm remarkably good at budgeting my time when I try, as it turns out. The biggest thing that has been eating my time is my latest writing endeavor.

It started out as a distraction. You see, I had only just finished a zombie story I'd been writing over the last year, and my typical strategy is to place a period of time between the writing and editing processes. This is not my creation; I got the idea from Stephen King's On Writing. Anyway, I started a new story between writing and editing. It began as a lighthearted story about a preacher from a religion that I created to parallel the monotheism of Christianity/Judaism/Islam who goes to serve at a school run by the church. This transformed, over the course of six weeks, into a 280-page monster. It is officially the longest story I've ever written in my life. It got much darker, much more complex, and much more interesting than it had originally been.

It also has yet to give any indication that it's finished. I write anywhere from five to ten pages a day. I wrote the ending two weeks ago. Now I'm working to fill in the gaps and elaborate on details. In case you didn't know, I'm more of a short story person. I like to create stories that fit neatly into a few pages. I've written a couple of stories that ended up being 100-150 pages, and I felt accomplished. This creature, though, is a thing all by itself. I have yet to run into a block or get tired of the story. I don't feel like I'm stretching out parts simply to make the overall product longer. The big difference between this story and my other ones is that 280 pages later, the story has yet to feel tedious.

But enough about the monster. I'm sorry to report Mormons for Dummies has been placed on temporary leave until I do not have school upon which I devote my attention. Mormons are, of course, hilarious. The other day, I earned myself a few good glares by shouting "Jesus Christ" on Temple Square. I was trying to get home when I got stuck behind a crowd of tourists. Another time, I was nearly run over by a woman in a Mormon Utility Vehicle (aka a minivan) who was not paying attention to the red light and was instead looking for parking. Like I said, Mormons are hilarious.

On a not entirely unrelated note, I love Salt Lake City. I really do. I'm surprised by how quickly I've adopted it and its quirks; it took me an entire school year to decide I semi-liked Portland. Salt Lake and Portland share a few things in common. For starters, the homeless people here are just as crazy as the ones in Portland. A few days ago, I observed a man carry on a conversation with a mannequin in the window of a suit store. It was fascinating. Salt Lake also has a decent public transit system. Ours is called TRAX, as opposed to MAX in Portland. We also have a good bus system.

The biggest difference, though, is the most important one- I love University of Utah. I absolutely love it. Portland State did not feel much like a university; it felt like a grouping of buildings where people went to class. The U feels like a real university. It's the kind of campus you see in the movies, with sloping grounds, towering trees, and people hanging out in common areas studying or playing instruments. The University of Utah is perched on a hill, set against the Wasatch Front. Our stadium is visible from virtually everywhere in the Salt Lake Basin. You can tell the city of Salt Lake has fierce pride when it comes to the U- the "drum and feather" logo is visible in business windows and flying from flags in front of homes. Everyone on campus wears their spirit gear with pride. It's a school that brags cutting-edge research and an excellent football team. Utah is a community in every way Portland State wasn't; I'm going to a school I enjoy and can be proud to attend.

So that's what's going on in my life. Thus far, moving to Salt Lake has been the best decision I've ever made. Two years ago, if you told me I'd be happy to be living here, I would have laughed. However, two years ago I was confident in a lot of things that turned out to be wrong. I never would have guessed that I would be studying anthropology, or writing a giant novel, or living in Utah. After the last two years, I've decided that assuming I know where I'm going in life is a dumb idea. I know a few people going into college, and the biggest thing I'd say to them is that it's bad to try and find something to do for the rest of their lives. All we can do is find what makes the present meaningful, and just go along with that. I moved from Portland to Salt Lake and I'm happier than ever. Nothing is fixed.