"What if you meet someone?" the commercial says. "What if he likes you too? What if he gives you HPV?"
For fuck's sake, people. Shut up about the stupid Human Papillomavirus. WE GET IT ALREADY. STDs are bad. I went to Health class all through junior high and high school.
For one, I think it is ridiculous that a drug company can post commercials masquerading as informational when all they're trying to do is sell you another drug. Yes, in case you didn't notice, Merck pays for those OBNOXIOUS commercials. This is like if Camel paid for a commercial that talked about how nicotine makes people happy and alleviates the symptoms of Parkinson's Disease. I mean, does this whole bit shout "Ethical Dilemma" to anyone else? Never-mind that the vaccine only protects against a few of the various types of HPV. Never-mind that it has been shown to not actually work for some populations of people. Never-mind that it claims to be a vaccine against cervical cancer when it isn't. They don't feel the need to actually say any of these facts, because the commercial was written by a drug company, not medical personnel. I feel like this is the equivalent of Viagra saying that their product will cause you to always sleep with attractive females.
Also, this whole HPV vaccine doesn't address any real problems. It's right in line with the whole "abstinence- only" education strategy. Rather than teach people how to be responsible about sex, we're just going to vaccinate them and not talk about it. You wouldn't get HPV if you wore a condom and knew with whom you're having sex. If you know your partner, and you get tested regularly, and you're partners get tested, then you know what is going on medically in everyone's pants. And yes, I realize we are all immature and no one in this country can talk about sex with a straight face. I'm serious, too. Come on. Say penis and then say vagina with a straight face. If you didn't just giggle, even a little, I will give you a cookie.
We're so nervous about talking about sex that we behave like a bunch of children. I'm tired of people acting like no one has sex unless they're married. Welcome to the human race, people. Humans have sex. It happens. Humans pass each other diseases when they have sex. Conveniently, at some point we invented small rubber jackets that prevent the spread of disease. Inconveniently, for some odd reason, some religions have decided that these are somehow a bad thing. Inconveniently, our education system refuses to teach people how to use these seemingly simple devices.
I'm so sick of people having fourteenth-century attitudes about the twenty-first century. Come on, people! We have a president who has a high melanin content! Not only did we get Facebook, but we can also use it on devices the size of our hands. The Vatican has its own radio station, for fuck's sake. So does the LDS Church. You would think that if they can embrace some technological advances, they could at least tolerate some others.
Okay, I realize that the day the Mormons accept condoms is the day the Earth itself ignites on fire and burns out of oblivion. But here's to wishful thinking.
The US has a higher teen pregnancy rate than any other developed nation on the planet. If our government really wants to do something about this, they'll start offering comprehensive sex education. They should do this, and declare those god-awful commercials illegal.
Honestly, I do not care that the chick in the video is pretending that she has cervical cancer. I hope that she really gets cancer, for profiting off someone else's misfortune. These commercials are just stupid, and they're obnoxious. There's nothing I hate more than a misleading commercial.
Honestly, I'd rather go back to Trojan condom ads and the "Viva Viagra" song. They're more entertaining, and while they are over the top, they aren't trying to scare anyone into buying something.
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